Incest situationship

I  don't know where to start my story, but I will try and explain it carefully.

I'm twenty-four years old, the first child of my parents. my dad owns a big church and other branches in big cities and towns.

I can't completely remember when it all started, but I remember my dad always fingering me as early as five years old. as soon as I clocked ten, the long wait was over for my dad; he came to my room at night and molested me! I still remember the pains and the weight of his body on top of me. I woke and told my mum what happened, she told me to shout up, insulted me, she said all manner of things to me that my brain had to delete them.

she finally told my dad what I said, but he told her no one would believe her, in fact, this revelation gave him more confidence to sleep with me whenever he desired to,. the best my mum could do was give me paracetamol to relieve me of the pains I felt between my thigh. when she couldn't take it anymore, she reported him to families, they all told her to protect her mum.

I was sent to boarding by my mum, so as to reduce the frequent sex, which my dad almost killed her for. I was saved the all night wife's duty, but every mid-term break we had, I was all my dad ever wanted; from the living room to bedroom to bathroom, cars, name it all. the molest session doubled from once every day to two-three times a day. my mum did nothing, I also lost the hope and energy to resist, all I do is lay on the bed for him to do what he wants, while I go clean up after everything.

I gained admission into the university, though in the same location. I tried going into a relationship just to have a normal life, but my dad will fight, chase, and curse any man he sees around me. as soon as he chases them, the next thing is for him to come and rape me without minding who is around or not.

men got tired of chasing me, I'm old enough to be in a serious relationship, but no one is coming forth. I decided to pay my mum back in her coin, for refusing to protect me when I needed it most. 

Now, I go to my dad and demand sex from him. yes, I know what you're thinking. with my younger ones away in a boarding school makes it easier. we sleep on the same bed, go out on a date, bath together, etc. she has insulted, reported me to people that I'm destroying her home, but she didn't reveal the whole details. I feel so tired and all alone. I have suffered sexual abuse, and trauma all my life, and there my mum is feeling like I did her wrong, while in the real sense she wronged me.

I just want to let the pain and anger all out, as I have never spoken about it before.