How long is Sex Supposed to Last?

I came across this conversation on the micro blogging platform (Twitter); someone asked how long should sex be and a lot of people shared their opinion on what they deem as lengthy sex. Do note that sex here is about heterosexual intimacy. There was a lot of interesting and jaw dropping answers to the question said. Some people think sex should last for 3 minutes, 7 minutes, 30 minutes, 60 minutes, and some said a good sex shouldn’t exceed 15 minutes including foreplay.

The truth is there is no perfect answer to this question because different people mean different experiences. After doing my research, I decided to share opinions of sex therapist or experts’ including reprots from limited studies.

From a 2005 study between heterosexual person from 18 years and above, men within the age of 18-30 years ranged from 0.55 seconds to 44 minutes with an of average of  5.4 minutes and the length significantly reduce with age.  While porn have painted a freaky picture of sex lasting for hours, which have been widely accepted as the standard by the public, you need to know that it’s not realistic because sex is about mutual satisfaction that can be achieved regardless of the length of time if done right. With the right foreplay, state of mind, sexual attraction, styles, and most importantly communication; you are bound to have a great sex.

According to a study, below are sex therapists submissions about sex length:

• Sex that last below 3 minutes calls for clinical concern.
• Sex within 3-7 minutes is adequate.
• Sex that last within 7-13 minutes is desirable.
• Sex that last within 10-30 minutes is too long.

However, 2020 study assessing the time to orgasm in heterosexual women found that the average was 13.41 minutes. Also, cultural norms and guidelines from medical experts can influence sexual expectations and contribute to sexual dissatisfaction.

A range of factors are believed to contribute to how long sex should last. Such factors include:

1. What sex means to individual: that is your definition of sex? Stimulation or penetrative.
2. Sex goals, practices and norms: such as orgasm for each partner which can contribute to the length.
3. External factors: Being new parents making you have a quick sex when the baby is asleep.
4. Sexual orientation: Study showed that females in same sex relationship have longer sex compared to other types of relationship.
5. Age: Length of sex can decrease with age due to factors affecting health and stamina.

Finally, there is no standard to how long sex should last. The crucial factor to ensuring a quality sex life for you and your partner is through “communication” and the desire to ensure each other’s pleasure.

Reference: Medicalnewstoday